Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Essay #1

          Aliens and alienation have come to mean and imply very different things than they have before. One may think of illegal immigrants when they hear "aliens," others may think of little green people. However, in The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver, alienation meant exile in the most harsh terms- complete removal from ones' home. This occurred when Nathan Price, an evangelical baptist, took his wife and four daughters, as well as his mission to the Congo. The exile they all experienced not only brought danger, death, and negative feelings, but also some other crucial lesson that enriched their lives. 

          Racheal Price experienced the most trouble with assimilating to the Congo. In effect, her unwillingness to  assimilate alienated her from her own family who had already so easily done so. Racheal Price craved all that she had at home while she began her new life in the Congo, this made her exile excruciating. She lived in the past of her home in America instead of accepting living in the moment in her present place, the Congo. 

          Throughout the story, Racheal Price experiences the most change. Going from an alien of the Congo and her family, to marrying an African man and taking over his family hotel when he passes away. The click, or switch that was flipped, that allowed Racheal the ability to let go and eventually fully assimilate and benefit from her exile was finally flipped. The exile from her home taught her how to completely detach from material and luxury things, and live a more simple life. She was enriched with happiness. 

           Racheal Price's pilgrimage throughout the book summarizes the main themes of exile, alienation and enrichment, in the best way because the readers follow her dealing with exile in a way most people probably would. The easiness to connect with Racheal Price allows the reader to place themselves in her position and live through the story. Racheal's journey illuminates the short and the long of exile in the most practical ways of defiance, giving up, then inspiration, and growth. 



             Self evaluation: eeeeeeek                 
I allotted myself 40 minutes to complete this essay and there isn't much to show. The first essay back is always the toughest. My introduction is unclear, my examples are weak, and my sentence structure is much more simple than complex. Overall, I would think this to be a poor essay. In the future, doing a quick outline of where I want to take my essay may be beneficial to my final product actually being something of academic excellence. 

10 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your comparison of 'aliens' and 'alienation' was interesting. I really liked how you stated the way that people view 'aliens' and then what alienation actually is through "The Poisonwood Bible". Your diction was good but your sentence variety was lacking a bit. I thought you started out strong in the first paragraph and slowly faded into a weak ending.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't be so harsh on yourself! We have been out for two months and I'm sure your main focus over the summer wasn't enhancing your writing! I think you developed really good ideas throughout the essay and explained them very well, but what you did lack was examples from the story. Just add on some examples to your developed ideas and your paper would have already been a lot better. As for your introduction, I think you started well but should have talked more about Rachael and what you were going to explain throughout your essay. The concluding paragraph I thought was pretty strong; you ended the paper extremely well. As for vocab and sentence structure, you could use some work, but after we read many novels and refresh ourselves of "fancy" vocabulary, you will be doing much better! Good paper, don't be discouraged. Just learn and improve as I have much of that to do myself!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really enjoyed the first paragraph. You went from a broad subject to one that was more narrow and directly related it to the story and your focus of the essay. I thought your thesis was strong and clear. In the body paragraphs I thought you could have developed ideas more, but I like how you gave an example and a little moral with it that directly related it to your thesis. I like the conclusion where it ties in Rachel's reaction to that of many people, it gives a personal touch to it and relates the reader to the topic as you said. I like the use of the word pilgrimage, it made me smile I don't know why though. :) Imanie you seriously amaze me every time your write! I love reading your words and look at the big picture, you at least finished the essay and there is something to start from. As one of our topics in class said, starting is the hardest part to do so girlie keep it up! I know what you are capable of and there just needed to be a little more to this essay but I'm sure you already knew that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your intro was definitely an attention grabber! This comes to show what a great writer you are and you know how to work the audience. I do have to say there are a couple flaws in this essay but who doesn't make mistakes? The development of examples and more textual evidence would have been a great addition to your essay. It would have solidified your writing, but the intro and frequent use of vocabulary rather than using the "is, was" type of verbs was a great plus. Good work Imanie!
    Your intro was definitely an attention grabber! This comes to show what a great writer you are and you know how to work the audience. I do have to say there are a couple flaws in this essay but who doesn't make mistakes? The development of examples and more textual evidence would have been a great addition to your essay. It would have solidified your writing, but the intro and frequent use of vocabulary rather than using the "is, was" type of verbs was a great plus. Good work Imanie!

    ReplyDelete
  6. It started strong, took a little detour, then finished well. I think planning your writing before will help a lot, I need to start doing that because I see from well thought out essays how well we can make them flow and hit crucial points that lead back to the thesis. You made me think with your intro and I loved that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I reread it and forgot to mention that I thought the third paragraph really did show how Rachel was alienated because she took herself out of her surroundings. New perspective on her that I didn't have before :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. First of all I'm not going to give a lengthy explanation like all these other people did, it is going to be short and sweet just like me. Second of all I would have to agree with you, this isn't your best work, I know your writing from your other blog and it is quite enlightening and free. I did love your intro, I thought your first line was so clever and catchy and then the rest of your intro was clear and straight to the point. Overall it was a good essay that said what needed to be said to describe your character, but it didn't have the Imanie twist touch that usually distinguishes your work. Good work and know that it's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. After reading all of these previous comments, I think we all thought the same thing, including yourself. It's hard to critique a paper when the author already explicates the flaws in their work. Although I do believe you were a bit harsh on yourself given the lack of necessity to write an in-depth paper since sophomore year, it was a superb effort but we all know the writer you truly are and what this paper could potentially be. The thoughts were very well organized, seeing that your into and conclusion paragraphs appeared to be the strongest all that really needed work was the desire for more textual evidence in the body paragraphs and an elaborate vocabulary throughout. I enjoyed how you portrayed Rachel's initial exile as the building blocks that essentially brought her happiness in adulthood. It was a good paper Imanie, relax. The only thing to stress about is if you were not to grow as an even more fantastic writer from here by not taking in all of these suggestions, which I don't foresee that happening.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You're too harsh on yourself, Imanie! You had your ideas and were on the right track in writing this essay, however, and it has been stated before, the writing slowly got weaker. All that it needed was more analysis on Rachel's character and experience and more structured paragraphs and it would've been a solid essay. Writers block, beginning of the school year, it happens. Never doubt yourself, it was pretty good! Your work can only improve form here on out! (:

    ReplyDelete